Same World - Different Experience

Have you ever met someone and realized that how you walk through the world is different from their experience? Sometimes, those differences can even feel opposite from each other. I recently had this experience and learned something important about our Wonderful Works mission.

Last month I had the pleasure of interviewing author, speaker, and women’s ministry leader Jennifer Rothschild for our podcast. Jennifer has a contagious spirit for the Lord and a powerful way of encouraging women to grow in their faith. She also has an eye condition called retinitis pigmentosa (RP) that causes blindness. What is important to know about RP is that most people who have it started life with regular vision and then progressively lose their vision over time. Jennifer was diagnosed years ago and is now completely blind.

However, she has very strong vision in her mind’s eye. What that means is that even though she cannot physically see the world around her, she has a vivid memory of what things looked like and she can imagine them in her mind in a tangible way. When we talked, she mentioned this several times, and I could tell how important being able to visualize the world in her mind’s eye was to her.

What struck me as we were talking about this was —I am the total opposite. I can see the world around me through my physical eyes, but it is incredibly difficult for me to imagine anything in my mind’s eye.

This mind’s-eye blindness is called aphantasia. Which basically means that some people, estimated to be around 2% - 4%, struggle to produce mental images in their imagination. Some people’s mind’s eye is completely blank, while others (like me) can sometimes conjure up brief flashes of vague imagery, but creating and maintaining a visual picture of something or someone is really hard to do.

Aphantasia is not considered to be a disability, just a difference. And many people who live with it don’t even realize that they experience the world differently. This was the case for me. I just assumed that the way I interacted with the world was the same way that everyone else was doing it. Although there were times when I did question things.

For instance, anytime I read a book and someone would ask me how I was picturing the characters, I could never understand what they meant. But it was easy enough to just shrug and move on to something else. I also noticed as an art student that some of my peers could visualize what they wanted to draw before ever putting pen to paper. I thought that was amazing and assumed that being able to do that was a super rare artistic gift. For me, I had to draw something first and then change it from there to be able to do my work. I also thought it was normal to think about memories in terms of facts and feelings instead of visual pictures. In fact, I thought all of this was completely normal, and I wouldn’t even question how I perceived the world for a few more decades.

It wasn’t until I was in my thirties when I got the book character question once again: "How are you picturing so-and-so?" When I finally said, “What do you mean, ‘picture’ them?” It was then that I learned that being able to clearly see images in your mind’s eye was the norm, not the exception. I was shocked. It hit me that I had spent a lifetime thinking that I was just like everyone else, and suddenly I wasn’t. I really wasn’t sure how to process that. So, I began doing some online sleuthing to try to figure out if anyone else in the world shared my experience. For years, I found nothing, and I began to wonder if anyone else would ever understand me. It wasn’t until 2015 that the term "aphantasia" was coined and information was available, and I finally learned that I was not alone.

Which brings me back to my interview with Jennifer. Through our time together she shared her story, which was one of challenges, triumphs, and a close relationship with Christ. As she spoke, I became aware of how very different our experiences are, but more than that, I heard what we had in common. Though God made us vastly different, he made both of us with the same love. Though I can only see the world around me and she can only see the world within her, we both can see the Holy Spirit working in our lives. Though we may not always know why God made us as he did, we can know that he has a purpose for us exactly as we are.

When the interview was over, I sat back and reflected on what I had learned. God did not create a one-size-fits-all way to experience the world. He made each of us to be unique, with our own gifts, strengths, challenges, and differences. And what I realized then, as I thought about Jennifer’s story and compared it to my own, was this. What matters more than how we walk through the world is who we walk through the world with—Christ.

This is why our mission at Wonderful Works Ministry is so important. Because each of us is created uniquely, and sometimes that means we experience the world differently than the people around us. But, even when we do, we deserve to be loved, accepted, and understood just as God made us. Because no matter how you walk through the world, none of us need to do it alone.

For you created my inmost being;    

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;    

your works are wonderful,    

I know that full well. -  Psalm 139:13-14